Relationships can be tricky, especially when something feels off, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. Gaslighting is a sneaky form of emotional abuse that leaves you doubting yourself and your reality. It’s more common than you might think, and spotting the signs early can save you from a world of hurt.
In this blog, I will explain 17 surprising signs that your partner might be gaslighting you.
They twist your words
Your partner often changes what you say. They might claim you said something you didn’t or deny something you know you said. This leaves you feeling confused and unsure of your own memory. You might start to doubt if you really said what you thought you did, making it hard to trust yourself.
They deny obvious facts
Your partner refuses to admit things that are clearly true. They might say an event never happened, even when you have proof. This can make you question your own perception of reality. Over time, you might believe their version of events, even when it doesn’t match what you remember.
They use your insecurities against you
Your partner brings up your weaknesses or fears to make you feel bad. They might mock your appearance or criticize your skills. This constant negativity can chip away at your self-esteem. You might start to believe you’re not good enough, making it harder to stand up for yourself.
They blame you for everything
Nothing is ever their fault in your partner’s eyes. They always find a way to make you responsible for any problems. This can always leave you feeling guilty, even for things that aren’t your fault. You might start apologizing for everything, just to keep the peace.
They minimize your feelings
Your partner acts like your emotions aren’t important. They might tell you you’re overreacting or being too sensitive. This can make you doubt your own feelings and reactions. You might start to hide your emotions to avoid being dismissed.
They use love as a weapon
Your partner withholds affection when you don’t do what they want. They might say, “If you really loved me, you’d do this.” This manipulates your emotions and makes you feel you must earn their love. You might find yourself doing things you’re uncomfortable with just to get their approval.
They rewrite history
Your partner changes the story of past events to suit their narrative. They might claim things happened differently than you remember. This can make you doubt your own memories and experiences. You might start to rely on their version of events, even when it doesn’t feel right.
They isolate you from others
Your partner tries to keep you away from friends and family. They might criticize your loved ones or make it difficult for you to spend time with them. This isolation makes it harder for you to get outside perspectives. You might start to rely solely on your partner for support and validation.
They use the silent treatment
Your partner ignores you for long periods when they’re upset. They refuse to talk or acknowledge you until you give in to their demands. This can be really hurtful and make you feel abandoned. You might start to do anything to avoid the silent treatment, even if it means giving up your own needs.
They shift the goalposts
Your partner constantly changes what they want from you. When you think you’ve met their expectations, they add new demands. This can leave you feeling like you can never win or do enough. You might exhaust yourself trying to please them, only to always fall short.
They trivialize your accomplishments
Your partner downplays your achievements and successes. They might act like what you’ve done isn’t a big deal or find ways to criticize it. This can really hurt your confidence and make you doubt your abilities. You might stop sharing good news or celebrating your wins.
They use verbal abuse
Your partner calls you names or insults you, often followed by “I’m just joking.” This verbal abuse can be really hurtful and damaging to your self-esteem. You might start to believe the negative things they say about you. Over time, you might even start to think you deserve the insults.
They make you question your sanity
Your partner suggests you’re “crazy” or “losing it” when you confront them. They might even plant doubts about your mental health in other people’s minds. This can make you seriously question your own perception and judgment. You might start to wonder if there really is something wrong with you.
They play the victim
Your partner turns the tables when you try to address issues. They act like you’re attacking them and make themselves out to be the victim. This can leave you feeling guilty for bringing up legitimate concerns. You might start to avoid addressing problems to keep from being painted as the bad guy.
They use guilt trips
Your partner makes you feel bad for doing things without them. They might act hurt or upset when you spend time with others or pursue your own interests. This can make you feel responsible for their happiness all the time. You might give up things you enjoy to avoid making them upset.
They deny your reality
Your partner tells you that you’re remembering things wrong or making things up. They might say, “That never happened,” even when you’re sure it did. This constant denial of your experiences can make you doubt your own memory and perception. You might start to rely on them to tell you what’s real and what isn’t.
They use positive reinforcement to control you
Your partner praises you excessively when you do what they want. They might shower you with affection and compliments, but only when you comply with their wishes. This can create a cycle where you crave their approval and change your behavior to get it. You might find yourself doing things just to earn their praise, even if it goes against what you really want.
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