18 Comments to Steer Clear of When Visiting Elderly Relatives

Visiting elderly relatives should be a happy time, not a stress fest. It’s all about showing love and respect, but sometimes, our words don’t come out quite right. We might think we’re being helpful or funny, but oops! We’ve hurt someone’s feelings instead.

That’s why I’ve put together this list of 18 comments you might want to avoid next time you’re hanging out with older family members.

You look old!

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This comment can hurt feelings. Aging is natural, but nobody likes to be reminded of it. Instead, try saying something nice about their appearance. Focus on positive things, like their smile or their outfit.

Do you remember…?

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Asking this too often can be frustrating if they’re having memory problems. It might make them feel bad if they can’t recall something. Try sharing your own memories instead. This can lead to nice chats without putting them on the spot.

Why are you so slow?

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This is rude and can make them feel bad about their physical abilities. Everyone moves at their own pace, especially as they get older. Be patient and offer help if they need it, but don’t rush them.

You’ve told me that story before.

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Even if it’s true, this can make them feel embarrassed or uninteresting. Older folks often enjoy sharing stories from their past. Listen politely, as you might hear new details or just make them happy by showing interest.

When are you going to retire?

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This question can be sensitive, especially if they enjoy working or need the money. Some people don’t want to retire, while others can’t afford to. Let them bring up the topic of retirement if they want to talk about it.

You’re too old for that!

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This can sound mean and limit what they think they can do. Age doesn’t always decide what someone can or can’t do. Encourage their interests and activities, even if they seem unusual for their age.

It’s probably just old age.

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Brushing off health concerns as “just old age” can be dangerous. Real health problems might be ignored. Take their worries seriously and encourage them to talk to a doctor if needed.

You should move to a nursing home.

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This is a big, personal decision that can be very upsetting to bring up. It’s not something to suggest casually during a visit. If there are concerns about their living situation, have a serious, private talk with other family members first.

How can you not know how to use a smartphone?

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Technology can be tricky for people who didn’t grow up with it. Making fun of them for this can hurt their feelings. Offer to teach them if they’re interested, but don’t force it if they’re not.

Also read: Turning 60? Start Avoiding These 10 Foods According To Science

You don’t need all this stuff.

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Their belongings might seem like clutter to you, but they could be precious memories. Suggesting they get rid of things can be hurtful. Respect their space and their treasures, even if you don’t understand the value.

You’re lucky you don’t have to work.

Image Credit: Sabine van Erp from Pixabay

Retirement isn’t always fun and games. Many older people miss working or struggle with feeling useful. Some might be bored or lonely. Don’t assume their life is easy just because they’re not working.

You’re too old to drive.

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Losing the ability to drive is a sensitive topic for many older people. It represents independence. If you’re worried about their driving, have a private, caring talk with them and other family members.

I can’t wait to inherit…

Image Credit: Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Talking about their stuff like you’re waiting to get it is very rude. It makes it sound like you’re looking forward to them being gone. Focus on enjoying time with them now, not what you might get later.

You’re not deaf, are you?

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Shouting or speaking extra slowly can be insulting if it’s not needed. If they’re having trouble hearing, ask politely if they need you to speak up. Don’t assume or make fun of hearing problems.

Back in your day…

Image Credit: Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

This phrase can make them feel old and out of touch. It suggests their experiences aren’t relevant anymore. Instead, ask them to share their experiences and really listen to what they say.

You don’t need to worry about that.

Image Credit: Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Dismissing their concerns can make them feel ignored or silly. Their worries are real to them, even if they seem small to you. Listen to their concerns and take them seriously.

You’re not eating enough!

Image Credit: Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Pushing food on them can be annoying and unhealthy. Appetites often change with age. Trust that they know their own hunger levels and dietary needs.

You should get out more.

Image Credit: Susanne Nicolin from Pixabay

This might sound helpful, but it can be hurtful if they have reasons for staying in. They might have health issues or anxiety about going out. Instead, offer to visit more often or suggest activities you could do together at home.

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Mary Apurong

Mary Apurong is an experienced writer and editor who enjoys researching topics related to lifestyle and creating content on gardening, food, travel, crafts, and DIY. She spends her free time doing digital art and watching documentaries. Check out some of her works on Mastermind Quotes.