Grandparents are the best! They give us cuddles, cookies, and always have a funny story to share. But sometimes, they say things that make us cringe or feel a little uncomfortable.
You know what I’m talking about – those old-fashioned sayings or comments that just don’t make sense in today’s world. Maybe they’re outdated, embarrassing, or even a little rude without meaning to be.
In this article, we’re going to look at 18 phrases grandparents really need to stop saying.
1. “Back in my day…”
We get it, times were really different when grandparents were young. But starting every reminiscence with this phrase makes it sound like they’re glorifying the past and dismissing how things are now.
It comes across as lecturing instead of just sharing a nice story. There’s no need to constantly compare then vs. now – grandkids just want to hear about grandparents’ lives without the soapbox.
2. “You’ve got a pretty girlfriend/boyfriend…this time.”
These underhanded jokes about past relationships really need to stop. They make grandchildren feel judged and embarrassed about their romantic lives.
Grandkids want to proudly introduce new partners without enduring backhanded digs. Compliments and warm welcomes shouldn’t come laden with rude implications about changing lovers.
3. “When are you two lovebirds getting married/having kids?”
Asking about huge life milestones like marriage and babies can put a lot of uncomfortable pressure on young couples who may not be ready. It’s best to let them share that kind of massive personal news privately when the time is right for them.
Grandparents constantly prying about it can strain relationships and feel invasive of boundaries.
4. “You’re getting too old for that.”
Whether it’s an eye-rolling comment about grandkids’ fashion, creative hobbies, interests in music/movies – declaring they’re “too old” for the things they enjoy is extremely discouraging. Let them be young and have fun without raining on their wholesome enthusiasms and pastimes.
5. “You’ve got a kid’s body, let me grab those cheeks/belly!”
Touching a grandchild’s body in any way without their consent, even in a playful “pinching cheeks” way, is simply off-limits. It violates bodily autonomy and can make kids and teens feel extremely uncomfortable, unsafe, and insecure about their bodies.
6. “You’re eating all of that?/You’ve gotten so big!”
Comments about grandkids’ eating habits, food portions sizes, weight gain/loss, or physical appearance can very easily trigger damaging insecurities. It can hurt self-esteem and even encourage disordered eating in extreme cases.
It’s best for grandparents to avoid passing any remarks at all about grandchildren’s looks or bodies.
7. “What are the young people calling it these days?”
Mocking how younger generations talk by putting on a dismissive, sarcastic tone about trendy slang words or new technology terms makes grandparents just sound out-of-touch.
It’s an eye-rolling, condescending way to make fun of the modern ways young people communicate. It’s disrespectful of cultural change.
8. “You’ll understand when you’re older/married/a parent.”
This patronizing phrase is basically just grandparents’ way of dismissively saying “You’re too young and inexperienced to get it.” It shuts down any real dialogue and makes the grandchild feel invalidated, untrusting in their own thoughts.
9. “We never did anything like that when I was your age.”
Every single generation has its own cultural norms, styles, entertainments, attitudes, and ways of doing things when they were young. Judgmentally comparing grandkids’ behavior to previous eras just misses the entire point of how society changes over time.
10. “That’s not for ladies/young ladies.”
These kinds of sexist, outdated remarks about what’s deemed “proper” for girls and women to do or discuss need to be dropped. It perpetuates regressive gender roles and policing of girls’ interests or expression.
Grandparents should encourage grandkids to freely explore all opportunities, not box them into confining, antiquated ideals.
11. “You know you’re scratching that phone/game more than you scratch your own head!”
Making jabs about youngsters’ attachment to devices and technology just makes grandparents sound out-of-touch with modern life. It diminishes healthy hobbies and implies an unhealthy obsession without understanding.
12. “You’re my favorite…don’t tell your cousins!”
While likely just teasing, overtly picking a “favorite” grandchild can breed insecurity, jealousy, and hurt feelings among the grandkids. They’ll wonder why they don’t measure up. It’s best for grandparents to avoid blatant preferential treatment comments.
13. “You don’t have to tell me, we did plenty of that back in the day!”
Suggestive comments about grandparents’ free-spirited youths are just awkward for grandkids, who don’t need those visuals. Keep romantic pasts to yourselves, please! A little discretion on intimate topics goes a long way.
14. “Aww, you two are just friends? Well, you make a cute couple!”
This may seem like an innocent tease, but pushing the “you should date!” agenda onto platonic pals is uncomfortable. It invalidates the importance and beauty of non-romantic closeness. Friendships should be cherished on their own without assumptions.
15. “My great-uncle’s postman’s daughter did that once and just look how she turned out!”
Extreme hypothetical examples about how someone, twice-removed, kind of knew someone that went wrong after making a certain choice doesn’t actually prove any point. It’s an illogical scare tactic meant to discourage grandkids’ preferences or plans.
16. “I don’t get all these new pronouns… you’ll always be my grandson/granddaughter.”
Dismissing or refusing to use grandkids’ preferred pronouns and identities is extremely hurtful and close-minded. Grandparents need to respect how their grandchildren understand their own gender and existence, even if it’s unfamiliar. Making an effort toward inclusivity is essential.
17. “Who can even understand these rappers/boy bands nowadays? It’s just noise!”
Outright mocking and degrading genres of music that younger generations appreciate, rather than trying to understand their appeal, comes across as curmudgeonly and closed-off. Having an open mind about evolving art forms bridges generational gaps.
18. “You’ve got your whole life to be an adult – enjoy this lack of responsibility!”
While often well-intentioned, these statements minimize the very real stresses, anxieties, and obstacles that kids/teens face as they gradually gain independence. It invalidates their feelings. Grandparents should acknowledge those pressures rather than hand-waving them away.
Conclusion
Grandparents say these phrases with the best of intentions most times. But whether it’s dismissing modern trends or making cringe worthy jokes, these sayings often come across as disrespectful or insensitive to their beloved grandkids. A little reflection on what makes these comments hurtful can go a long way.
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