Emotional intelligence, or the ability to recognize and manage your own emotions as well as understand and respond to others’ feelings, is a crucial skill in life. However, sometimes we let phrases slip out that reveal we may not be as emotionally aware as we could be.
These seemingly harmless statements can damage relationships, create misunderstandings, and even hurt people’s feelings without us realizing it.
In this article, I’ll explore 7 common phrases that expose low emotional intelligence, and provide tips on how to communicate with more empathy and emotional awareness.
1. “Calm Down”
Telling someone to “calm down” when they’re upset rarely helps and usually makes them feel more frustrated or invalidated. It shows you don’t understand or care about what they’re feeling.
A better approach is to listen patiently and ask questions to try to understand their perspective. Dismissing their emotions will only make the situation worse.
2. “You’re Overreacting”
This phrase dismisses someone’s feelings as irrational or excessive, even if their emotional reaction feels very real and valid to them. It shuts down communication instead of facilitating it.
Try to see things from their point of view without judgment or accusations of overreacting. Their feelings deserve to be acknowledged.
3. “I Was Just Joking”
Using this excuse after saying something hurtful reveals an inability to take responsibility for your words and their impact on others. If your joke or comment caused offense or harm, you should apologize sincerely instead of trying to brush it off. Making excuses prevents growth.
4. “You’re Too Sensitive”
Labeling someone as “too sensitive” invalidates their legitimate emotions and makes them feel wrong or abnormal for feeling a certain way. It’s better to have an open, compassionate discussion about their feelings without dismissing them as hypersensitivity. Their experience is valid.
5. “It’s No Big Deal”
Downplaying situations or issues that feel very significant and serious to someone else shows a lack of empathy and emotional awareness on your part. Instead of minimizing their perspective, let them express why it’s an important matter without judgment. Don’t invalidate their reality.
6. “You’ll Get Over It”
This phrase implies that someone’s current feelings or struggles are just temporary and not worth giving much importance to. It’s dismissive and fails to provide comfort, empathy or validation for their experience in that moment. Have more patience.
7. “You’re Just Looking for Attention”
Accusing someone of just seeking attention when they’re expressing emotions or issues delegitimizes their genuine feelings and needs.
A more emotionally intelligent approach takes them seriously before making assumptions about their motives. Don’t invalidate their perspective.
Conclusion
Emotional intelligence requires being aware of not only our own feelings, but those of others. By avoiding phrases that dismiss, invalidate or judge someone’s emotions, we can improve our communication and relationships. With practice, we can all learn to interact with more empathy and emotional awareness.
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15 Common Millennial Phrases That Tend To Annoy People Across All Generations
