Ah, childhood—the golden era of innocence, where the world is a magical place and parents are the ultimate authorities on, well, everything. But as we grow older, wiser, and perhaps a tad more skeptical, we start to realize that not everything Mom and Dad told us was exactly… truthful.
From little white lies to elaborate tales spun to keep us in line, parents have a knack for dishing out the fibs with a straight face. So, let’s take a trip down memory lane and uncover 13 of the most common parental fabrications that had us fooled as kids.
Eating Watermelon Seeds Will Grow a Watermelon in Your Stomach
Remember frantically spitting out watermelon seeds to avoid sprouting a melon in your belly? Yeah, turns out that was just a clever ploy to keep us from making a mess.
If You Keep Making That Face, It’ll Get Stuck That Way
Ah, the classic warning delivered with a stern expression. Little did we know, our facial muscles were far more resilient than Mom led us to believe.
The Ice Cream Truck Only Plays Music When It’s Out of Ice Cream
Cruel, yet effective. The mere sound of that tinkling melody was enough to strike fear into the hearts of children everywhere.
Swallowing Gum Takes Seven Years to Digest
We all knew that one kid who swore they had a wad of gum lodged in their stomach for years. In reality, gum passes through our digestive system like any other food.
Santa Claus Is Watching
The ultimate behavior modifier during the holiday season. Santa’s omnipresent surveillance kept us on our best behavior, or so we thought.
The Tooth Fairy Will Leave Money Under Your Pillow
Losing a tooth was cause for celebration, not just because of the impending visit from the Tooth Fairy, but also for the monetary reward that followed.
If You Sit Too Close to the TV, You’ll Go Blind
Ah, the age-old warning that had us scooting back from the screen faster than you could say “remote control.”
Eating Carrots Will Improve Your Eyesight
Thanks to this fib, many of us grew up believing that a steady diet of carrots would grant us superhero-like vision. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.
Cracking Your Knuckles Will Give You Arthritis
A favorite among parents everywhere, this warning failed to deter the countless knuckle crackers among us.
You Can’t Swim Right After Eating
Who else spent countless minutes anxiously waiting by the pool, forbidden to take a dip until their lunch had fully digested?
The Bogeyman Will Get You If You Misbehave
Nothing like a good scare tactic to keep us in line, even if it meant sleeping with one eye open.
Eating Crusts Will Make Your Hair Curly
For the picky eaters among us, this promise of curly locks was not quite enough to convince us to finish our sandwiches.
If You Keep Making Noise, We’ll Leave You Here
Every parent’s go-to threat during a particularly noisy car ride. Spoiler alert: they never actually left us behind.
While these little white lies may have served their purpose in the moment, they’ve left us with a healthy dose of skepticism and a few good laughs along the way. So here’s to the parents who spun tales to keep us in line and to the children who eventually saw through their clever ruses.
After all, growing up is all about learning to separate fact from fiction… even if it means admitting that there’s no such thing as a watermelon garden in our stomachs.
